These are not words I ever thought I'd say.
But he is. He is Dr Joe Leach. He is funny. Engaging. He laughs at lesbian jokes. And he's my oncologist.
Fuck. I have an oncologist.
But he told me the best news ever. I only need radiation and endocrine therapy.
I also never thought I'd say that.
I feel lucky to be getting radiation and then shot in my belly that throws me into instant menopause.
Lately, it's kinda like toddler parenting,
when you hear yourself say
"Hey, hey, take the cat throw up out of your mouth"
in the same tone you once used to ask for a second glass of wine.
Or, while actually asking for a second glass of wine,
you don't miss a beat transitioning into, "is that baby shit under my fingernail?"
Yep it's a new world. Full of new new normals.
And a whole new list of things I thought I'd never say.
"Oh, the radioactive tracer didn't turn my boob bright blue - just the dye they put in after."
"I need a new boobicure"
"Try to say 'Tit Stitch Itch' 5 times fast."
"No offense, but I want Bama's boobs"
"They almost point in the same direction"
"Lucky me. This is like a two million dollar machine!"
"Thank you for taking a picture of my tumor!"
"Sweet, there is parking right outside radiation."
"How bad can instant menopause be?'
"Is my radiation sticker still on my armpit?"
"I can't wait to shave my pit incision"
"Hey look! I can lift my arm over my head!"
"Potato chips don't taste good anymore."
"Hey, my boob glue peeled off"
"Now they're just yellow."
"Wow. For a minute, I forgot I had cancer."
"Oh, needles don't bother me any more."
"Check me out. I have an oncologist AND a radiation oncologist"
"Form of birth control? Being a lesbian."
"What? I still have to take a pregnancy test? I AM GAY"
"I'm sorry I yelled at you about the pregnancy test. I know you're just doing your job."
This is the tip of the iceberg.
I have a feeling as I start radiation and endocrine therapy,
a whole new vocabulary is going to unveil itself,
giving me a virtual smorgasbord of ridiculous things to say.
And the fun starts this Wednesday.
20 radiation treatments.
Every weekday.
Done by Thanksgiving.
If that isn't serendipity, I don't know what is.
I have to go see if my Calendula order came yet.
Time to lotion the ladies like there's no tomorrow.
Lucky me, there are lots of tomorrows.
Thank you all for the love, snacks, dog walks, laughs and not gasping when I show you by beat up left gal.
Couldn't do it without you.
Love,
Ginnie
PS: Fuck cancer
Monday, October 22, 2018
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